Woman Thinks Her Boyfriend Needs To Get Over His Cat Being Put Down: Reddit Thread

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Ellie Dunn
Jan 27, 2022 4:00 PM EST

Hi friends! It's another day, and another opportunity to remind anyone who isn't already one of our pawsome readers: Losing a pet is really hard, be nice to people when they're grieving! Sadly, not everyone understands this fundamental truth. Today we have the story of a woman who recently lost her great aunt, very unfortunate, and is fully working on helping her family during this difficult time. Her boyfriend also suffered the loss of his childhood pet cat and has been very sad about it. This woman cannot accept why her boyfriend isn't helping her more, and why he can't get over his own loss faster despite  his explicitly stated grief. 

Here's a pet tip: don't disregard a pet loss or other trauma regarding a pet, many people view their pets as their family and will be very upset at you for being so insensitive. Not to mention the brutal legal battles over a cat that we've sadly seen play out. The woman in this story asked if she was the a-hole because of her attitude toward the pet, but you'll have to scroll down to read exactly what people had to say about this:

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  • 01
    Mammal - AITA for not caring about my bf putting down his cat?
    via u/bingeworthywriter

    Wow, right off the bat this is a terrible sounding title, who writes like this? We're not sure if the context of the story will justify such a title but the moment we read this, just so you know, we're thinking that you're probably the a-hole of this story.  Sounds like a not-so-healthy relationship if you're asking us.

  • 02
    Font - Last week I (23f) lost my great aunt to a brain aneurysm which resulted in a severe stroke leaving her brain dead. Due to Covid they only allowed my grandmother and her husband to see her. They had to FaceTime me into the room to say goodbye which was very traumatic in itself. This is my first time losing someone very close in my family and someone who I cared very deeply about.
    via u/bingeworthywriter

    Wow, what an awful thing to happen! There's going to be a cat story at the end of the tunnel, but how sad for the OP that she had to lose her great aunt so recently and wasn't able to visit her or anything, that really sucks and must be influencing her behavior. 

  • 03
    Font - Now, to AITA part, my bf (24) had to put down his cat, who had lived a good life but was suffering. The cat had arthritis in his hips, could barely walk, had tumors, and was barely using the bathroom. He honestly should've been put down months ago he was clearly struggling.
    via u/bingeworthywriter
  • 04
    Font - I have put down a pet before it is heartbreaking and sad but, I see it as if they are no longer in pain and suffering this is the better option. And boy this cat was SUFFERING it was awful to watch everyday.
    via u/bingeworthywriter
  • 05
    Font - My boyfriend has been crying since Saturday about the cat being put down but hasn't asked me how I'm feeling about my aunts death. Meanwhile I've been having to help with funeral arrangements, be there for my mother and grandmother. And organize her memorials and tributes all while trying to grieve myself.
    via u/bingeworthywriter
  • 06
    Font - He has told me he doesn't want me to think he is putting his cats death over my aunts but it really doesn't seem that way. And keeping in mind he barely took care of his cat his mother whole heartedly loved and took care of the cat everyday. He did not.
    via u/bingeworthywriter
  • 07
    Font - Even worse he asks me why it seems I don't care or aren't soothing him enough about his cat dying... To be fair I really do not care that they had to put down the cat, he is in a much better place and no longer suffering so..AITA?
    via u/bingeworthywriter
  • 08
    Font - GoldenNebulas Pooperintendant [56] Grief isn't a competition. Things will hit different for you both. I'm assuming he wasn't close to your aunt so of course he's gonna feel like losing his cat is worse. You're being cruel. It seems like you think only your feelings matter and expect everyone to cater to you, but you won't give your boyfriend the same opportunity.
    via u/GoldenNebulas
  • 09
    Font - Long Possible2943 I don't think she's being cruel. I think she just went through something traumatic and is struggling to comfort her mom, grandmother, and her boyfriend. I work in a hospital and family going through these COVID deaths where they can't speak to their loved ones is awful. Her emotional reserve is tapped out.
    via u/Long_Possible2943
  • 10
    Font - tigerkitten_91 ESH. On the one hand, he's grieving too. Your pain doesn't negate his. But on the other hand, losing a family member such as an aunt is in no way similar to losing a family pet, and he needs to understand that what you're going through right now is complicated. too, and support you. Love each other through this, support each other. let him know kindly when you need his support. Listen to him when he's upset. And ask him to do the same for you. You don't have to care about t
    via u/tigerkitten_91
  • 11
    Font - Daiyahoo YTA. I think calling you an a- hole is harsh, but you're not being super kind here. While I agree he should be a bit more considerate of your feelings, I think you should also acknowledge that his feelings are valid as well. To add on the information about not taking care of the cat doesn't really help your case and feels more like justification for your own opinion to me. While I am very sorry for your loss, I feel like you could be a bit kinder.
    via u/Daiyahoo
  • 12
    Rectangle - RobinsRoads05 I'm giong with YTA. you want sympathy from your BF but you admit you don't care that his cat is dead, and are offering no sympathy for him. you sound cold as ice.
    via u/RobinsRoads05

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drama pets am i the asshole relationships reddit thread Reddit Cats animals dramatic couple
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